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The Challenge with Ministry; People, continued

7/20/2014

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As I related earlier, the funding of Vicky as the leader of the Outreach became a sticking point in May of 2013.  

In that regard, in fact, Jimmy and I had several discussions about the fact that the chapel had, through the Board of Directors, agreed there would be some funds, approximately $10,000 committed to the event, but it would not be available until January 2014 and, it would NOT be used to fund Vicky.  This point on the remuneration of Vicky became the sticking point for the next 7 months of ministerial non-action.

Two days before Father's Day 2013 there was a discussion between Vicky and me about who should lead the Outreach.  It was, really, an off-the-cuff discussion as we pondered several obstacles associated with moving the Outreach forward.  We were discussing leadership in order to ensure that we had a high caliber individual that would be able to move this entire operation forward.  Vicky began the discussion by saying that Dan Williams should be the leader because of his abilities and his involvement in the More Than Gold (MTG) London 2012, the Christian outreach during the 2012 Olympics.  I had a few conversations with Dan up to this point and was told that he did not plan to be involved in the US Open Outreach on a full time basis.  So, as Vicky mentioned Dan Williams, I immediately came back and said, “I want to be very honest with you. I believe that if we're going to move forward with this outreach, considering the obstacles we have come up against up to this point, that I should be the leader of the ministry.” I recognized quickly this was a non-starter because of the coolness that came over the line after that.  She resisted, she became very cold toward me and the discussion didn't go much further after that.

As I said in an earlier section, on Father's Day 2013, I received an email from Vicky expressing her concerns about our conversation on leadership;

“With regard to positions and roles---we are still functioning informally as a team and there have been no "formal positions" agreed upon yet--I felt very uncomfortable with some comments you made yesterday with regard to who is leading what.  All of that needs to be agreed upon as a team and we are not quite there yet.  With regard to Dan Williams, he was part of the team even before you came on board and is still advising us organizationally.  No one person is leading this vision or "taking the lead" of it--we are all still just serving the present needs. 

I am expressing my concerns because it is obvious we all have our perspectives, perceptions, and desires--and I think it is a good idea to spend some time in the next meeting coming into agreement with "how we are going to live together" in this quest.”

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When I received this email, my wife and I were in the car driving around on that Sunday. I showed it to her and she said I should call her directly and set her straight.  Initially, I was infuriated, but I quietly prayed and began to hear the question; “Why are you so angry?”  “Why are you so offended by her email?”  I started to think about that and realized that if I was angry about this simple email that expressed her thoughts about my saying I should be the leader, why was I having such a hostile response?  I realized at that moment; I was, indeed, wanting to take control, take leadership of the Outreach and it was not my right, nor, role at that point to suggest that I should take over leadership of the event.

This was huge for me!!  This set me on a course to recognize God was chastising me for trying to take things into my own hands.   This had been the problem with my following Him and His leads in the past.  This had been the problem in my life, even, throughout former difficulties in jobs and relationships, etc.  I did not know how to serve!  I wanted to lead!  I needed to learn how to serve before I could be the leader God wanted me to be.

Wow, what a revelation.  So I called her three days later.

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